Welcome to the Borderlands
- Chapter 40 -
Can This Chrome Pumpkin Stay Ahead of the... Creature
“When I die I want to meet God and say, what the Hell were you thinking…like what were you thinking?” -Indian Larry from an episode of Discovery Channel’s television series THE GREAT BIKER BUILD-OFF
“I see the angel in the marble and carve until I set him free…Every block of stone has a statue inside it and it is the task of the sculptor to discover it.” -Michelangelo
“I get some ideas of kind of what I want to do then whatever it takes to see it through; that’s the way I do it. I treat it like sculpture. I like to see the frame up there and then let it flow; let it happen, whatever comes natural. When you hear the bike breathe its first breath that’s probably the biggest reward…every bike is like a child or work of art, like a creation that goes from dream to reality.” -Kendall Johnson of KENDALL JOHNSON CUSTOMS from an episode of Discovery Channel’s television series THE GREAT BIKER BUILD-OFF
“Roll with the mystery; life’s uncertain. Just be comfortable with that…why fight it?” -Indian Larry from an episode of Discovery Channel’s television series THE GREAT BIKER BUILD-OFF
“I have more faith in you than you have in you.” -Paul Cox to Robert Pradke from an episode of Discovery Channel’s television series THE GREAT BIKER BUILD-OFF and MATTHEW 14:31
“Trust in God…Vengeance is mine sayeth the Lord…No Fear…” -TATTOOED ‘backwards’ on Indian Larry’s neck so he could read it in the mirror.
“I see the angel in the marble and carve until I set him free…Every block of stone has a statue inside it and it is the task of the sculptor to discover it.” -Michelangelo
“I get some ideas of kind of what I want to do then whatever it takes to see it through; that’s the way I do it. I treat it like sculpture. I like to see the frame up there and then let it flow; let it happen, whatever comes natural. When you hear the bike breathe its first breath that’s probably the biggest reward…every bike is like a child or work of art, like a creation that goes from dream to reality.” -Kendall Johnson of KENDALL JOHNSON CUSTOMS from an episode of Discovery Channel’s television series THE GREAT BIKER BUILD-OFF
“Roll with the mystery; life’s uncertain. Just be comfortable with that…why fight it?” -Indian Larry from an episode of Discovery Channel’s television series THE GREAT BIKER BUILD-OFF
“I have more faith in you than you have in you.” -Paul Cox to Robert Pradke from an episode of Discovery Channel’s television series THE GREAT BIKER BUILD-OFF and MATTHEW 14:31
“Trust in God…Vengeance is mine sayeth the Lord…No Fear…” -TATTOOED ‘backwards’ on Indian Larry’s neck so he could read it in the mirror.
“Medea must ride with Larry but not before she transforms my Suzuki M109 into something much slower, really retro looking, with lots of chrome; like a Kawasaki W800.”
Medea’s plan was to attack the creature when it was weak. But when would we know it was weak?
I offered another plan, “We’ll never really know when it’s weak enough to attack. Let’s instead trick it into entering the river Styx. Charon can deal with it in the river.”
“How,” asked Larry?
“Medea must use a spell to transform my Suzuki M109 into eye candy, slower with lots of chrome, something like a Kawasaki W800, something it thinks it can catch.”
“Transforming,” Medea countered, “your M109 into a W800 will go against the M109’s nature. As my spell weakens, the Suzuki will start to change back from a Kawasaki into a Suzuki. Picture Cinderella’s powerful carriage forced into becoming an anemic pumpkin. Think of the pumpkin trying to turn itself back into a carriage.”
I’d never thought of the W800 as a pumpkin or my M109 as a carriage; but if we could trick the creature into entering the river Styx I was willing to try. Once in the river Charon would be able to deal with it.
“Why,” Larry asked, “even transform the Suzuki M109 into a W800? The M109’s faster. Isn’t faster better?”
“That’s the point. The M109 is too fast. The Kawasaki W800, however, was made to look and perform like an old school bike. Think of it as a piece of colorful bait. If the creature thinks it can catch it, it will chase it. It already knows it can’t catch the M109 or the Katana.”
Medea walked up, steadied herself on my shoulder, took off her underwear; and then put her underwear in my backpack. “Don’t forget the creature’s main target is me. My smell will also help attract it.”
“Why then,” Larry said sniffing and grinning at the same time, “won’t it just go after you?”
“It won’t because,” answered Medea, “you and I will have already left on the Katana before it gets close to here. We’ll then be able to circle back, come up from behind, and drive it into the river Styx. Charon will be waiting.”
I offered another plan, “We’ll never really know when it’s weak enough to attack. Let’s instead trick it into entering the river Styx. Charon can deal with it in the river.”
“How,” asked Larry?
“Medea must use a spell to transform my Suzuki M109 into eye candy, slower with lots of chrome, something like a Kawasaki W800, something it thinks it can catch.”
“Transforming,” Medea countered, “your M109 into a W800 will go against the M109’s nature. As my spell weakens, the Suzuki will start to change back from a Kawasaki into a Suzuki. Picture Cinderella’s powerful carriage forced into becoming an anemic pumpkin. Think of the pumpkin trying to turn itself back into a carriage.”
I’d never thought of the W800 as a pumpkin or my M109 as a carriage; but if we could trick the creature into entering the river Styx I was willing to try. Once in the river Charon would be able to deal with it.
“Why,” Larry asked, “even transform the Suzuki M109 into a W800? The M109’s faster. Isn’t faster better?”
“That’s the point. The M109 is too fast. The Kawasaki W800, however, was made to look and perform like an old school bike. Think of it as a piece of colorful bait. If the creature thinks it can catch it, it will chase it. It already knows it can’t catch the M109 or the Katana.”
Medea walked up, steadied herself on my shoulder, took off her underwear; and then put her underwear in my backpack. “Don’t forget the creature’s main target is me. My smell will also help attract it.”
“Why then,” Larry said sniffing and grinning at the same time, “won’t it just go after you?”
“It won’t because,” answered Medea, “you and I will have already left on the Katana before it gets close to here. We’ll then be able to circle back, come up from behind, and drive it into the river Styx. Charon will be waiting.”
Medea must transform my plain looking but powerful Suzuki M109 into this flashier but anemic Kawasaki W800. My plan to disguise the M109 as the slower but shinny W800 was meant to trick the creature into following me.
“The creature’s turned and is coming this way,” said Larry as he started the Katana.
To give her spell as much time as possible Medea waited as long as possible before transforming my Suzuki M109 into the Kawasaki W800. She’d already explained why the transformation would not last long. Our plan was to disguise the M109 as the much slower but flashier W800 and use the smell of Medea’s underwear I had in my backpack to attract the creature into chasing me. Speaking of the river Styx, in all my rides into the Borderlands the Styx was never far away; it often marked Borderland boundaries.
If Larry and Medea could ride up behind me on the Katana in enough time to force the creature into the river and if Charon was strong enough, and if the W800 could stay ahead of the creature long enough, and if…that’s a lot of ifs!
“The creature is headed this way,” said Larry as he started the Katana. Larry had perfect eyesight.
Medea climbed on back of the Katana behind Larry but not before she touched the M109. The big Suzuki shuddered and shook as if wanting to shake off Medea’s spell then reluctantly began rippling into wavering blue and black lines that changed into rippling red and chrome lines that changed into the much smaller less powerful Kawasaki W800.
“Remember,” said Medea as she and Larry rode away, “you must stay here long enough to lure the creature towards the river. We’ll circle around behind it as soon as we can.”
My first instinct was to follow them. However, if my plan was to work I had to get the creature to commit to chasing me. I had to let it get close enough to almost catch me.
Close enough came too fast. First through fifth gear went too fast. The creature was gaining too fast. Coming up fast from behind was Larry and Medea. Standing headless on the Katana’s passenger pegs like the headless horseman in the movie SLEEPY HOLLOW was Medea. And just as she was about to throw her head it winked. And then the W800 began to change but not back into my M109. Medea had warned me there would be problems with her spell.
If Larry and Medea could ride up behind me on the Katana in enough time to force the creature into the river and if Charon was strong enough, and if the W800 could stay ahead of the creature long enough, and if…that’s a lot of ifs!
“The creature is headed this way,” said Larry as he started the Katana. Larry had perfect eyesight.
Medea climbed on back of the Katana behind Larry but not before she touched the M109. The big Suzuki shuddered and shook as if wanting to shake off Medea’s spell then reluctantly began rippling into wavering blue and black lines that changed into rippling red and chrome lines that changed into the much smaller less powerful Kawasaki W800.
“Remember,” said Medea as she and Larry rode away, “you must stay here long enough to lure the creature towards the river. We’ll circle around behind it as soon as we can.”
My first instinct was to follow them. However, if my plan was to work I had to get the creature to commit to chasing me. I had to let it get close enough to almost catch me.
Close enough came too fast. First through fifth gear went too fast. The creature was gaining too fast. Coming up fast from behind was Larry and Medea. Standing headless on the Katana’s passenger pegs like the headless horseman in the movie SLEEPY HOLLOW was Medea. And just as she was about to throw her head it winked. And then the W800 began to change but not back into my M109. Medea had warned me there would be problems with her spell.
“Medea, you’ll ride with Larry on the Suzuki Katana.”
Medea had warned me the M109 would fight being held in a W800 form and would transition back into being a M109 as soon as possible. The question was would the creature be able to catch me before I was able to lure it into the river Styx.