Welcome to the Borderlands
- Chapter 29 -
Kendall's Gotta Plan For Getting Charon's Car Outta Placebo
“I see the angel in the marble and carve until I set him free…Every block of stone has a statue inside it and it is the task of the sculptor to discover it.” -Michelangelo
“I get some ideas of kind of what I want to do then whatever it takes to see it through; that’s the way I do it. I treat it like sculpture. I like to see the frame up there and then let it flow; let it happen, whatever comes natural. When you hear the bike breathe its first breath that’s probably the biggest reward…every bike is like a child or work of art, like a creation that goes from dream to reality.” -Kendall Johnson of KENDALL JOHNSON CUSTOMS from an episode of Discovery Channel’s television series THE GREAT BIKER BUILD-OFF
“I get some ideas of kind of what I want to do then whatever it takes to see it through; that’s the way I do it. I treat it like sculpture. I like to see the frame up there and then let it flow; let it happen, whatever comes natural. When you hear the bike breathe its first breath that’s probably the biggest reward…every bike is like a child or work of art, like a creation that goes from dream to reality.” -Kendall Johnson of KENDALL JOHNSON CUSTOMS from an episode of Discovery Channel’s television series THE GREAT BIKER BUILD-OFF
Larry and I had made it back, courtesy of Kendall Johnson’s modifications to the Raider, across the wastelands with Hilts just before the sunset. The downside was Charon’s 40 Ford was still stuck in the tiny town of Placebo. The real downside was that within his car were bottles filled with water from the River Styx essential for his survival.
Hilts saved us from having to tell the details of his rescue by saying, “Before you tell me about my rescue let’s all go inside and sit down…and Kate some of your special coffee would sure go a long way in healing these pitchfork wounds.”
Kendall was swept up with the rest of us and in less than a minute we found ourselves back in Spanky’s Café sitting at the same large wooden table. Kate wouldn’t leave Hilts’ side so Medea volunteered herself and Charon to make the coffee by grabbing him and pointing him towards the kitchen. The café’s generator had already kicked on giving us light and power for the stove. The solar, augmented by the wind, powered batteries would last through the night.
“Kendall,” I said, “your modifications to the Raider’s Super-Trapp muffler made the difference.”
“My pleasure,” said Kendall, “glad I could help.”
“You’re welcome,” said Larry.
“And your disconnection of the Raider’s rev-limiter,” I added apologetically for forgetting Larry’s contribution, “pushed those modifications over the top. To the both of you…thank you, thankyouverymuch…”
The five of us sat quietly at the table until Charon and Medea appeared from the kitchen with two big pots of coffee. Charon held one pot in one hand and one in another while Medea carried a tray of cups.
“I haven’t brewed this kind of coffee,” said Medea as she handed each of us a cup, “in ages. If it’s a bit too strong just grab your socks.”
With my first sip I imagined or was I actually hearing the line in the WIZARD OF OZ about, “…poppies, poppies…” and I began to feel more and more relaxed.
By the end of my first cup I was not only feeling more relaxed but my bumps and bruises were no longer reminding me they were there. And by the end of my second cup I could no longer feel or even see where the bumps and bruises had been. Larry looked relaxed too and Hilts looked a lot better and his pitchfork wounds were gone. Even Kendall looked less worse for wear. Medea and Charon were smiling.
Medea caught me staring at her, “If you’re wondering if those pots of coffee were a brew of healing elixir…they were. I promised as a condition of my redemption not to perform any, especially black, more magic. I promised to make only healing potions. How do you feel?”
“Like I could do a handspring over that giant bull in the picture at your café,” I laughed.
“Medea laughed in return. “Let’s hope you’ll never have to…I almost didn’t make it.”
“I don’t know about handsprings,” said Larry as he rested his head on his arms, “over giant bulls and such but I…could…go…toooo…sleeeeeeep…right…here.”
Kendall was already snoring and Kate was fast asleep in Hilts’ arms.
“Thanks, I needed that,” said Hilts as he closed his eyes.
“Why,” I asked, “isn’t the coffee making me sleepy?”
Medea walked over…her closeness, her smell, her smile, “It will…it will.” Or did she say, “Poppies…poppies”…?
Hilts saved us from having to tell the details of his rescue by saying, “Before you tell me about my rescue let’s all go inside and sit down…and Kate some of your special coffee would sure go a long way in healing these pitchfork wounds.”
Kendall was swept up with the rest of us and in less than a minute we found ourselves back in Spanky’s Café sitting at the same large wooden table. Kate wouldn’t leave Hilts’ side so Medea volunteered herself and Charon to make the coffee by grabbing him and pointing him towards the kitchen. The café’s generator had already kicked on giving us light and power for the stove. The solar, augmented by the wind, powered batteries would last through the night.
“Kendall,” I said, “your modifications to the Raider’s Super-Trapp muffler made the difference.”
“My pleasure,” said Kendall, “glad I could help.”
“You’re welcome,” said Larry.
“And your disconnection of the Raider’s rev-limiter,” I added apologetically for forgetting Larry’s contribution, “pushed those modifications over the top. To the both of you…thank you, thankyouverymuch…”
The five of us sat quietly at the table until Charon and Medea appeared from the kitchen with two big pots of coffee. Charon held one pot in one hand and one in another while Medea carried a tray of cups.
“I haven’t brewed this kind of coffee,” said Medea as she handed each of us a cup, “in ages. If it’s a bit too strong just grab your socks.”
With my first sip I imagined or was I actually hearing the line in the WIZARD OF OZ about, “…poppies, poppies…” and I began to feel more and more relaxed.
By the end of my first cup I was not only feeling more relaxed but my bumps and bruises were no longer reminding me they were there. And by the end of my second cup I could no longer feel or even see where the bumps and bruises had been. Larry looked relaxed too and Hilts looked a lot better and his pitchfork wounds were gone. Even Kendall looked less worse for wear. Medea and Charon were smiling.
Medea caught me staring at her, “If you’re wondering if those pots of coffee were a brew of healing elixir…they were. I promised as a condition of my redemption not to perform any, especially black, more magic. I promised to make only healing potions. How do you feel?”
“Like I could do a handspring over that giant bull in the picture at your café,” I laughed.
“Medea laughed in return. “Let’s hope you’ll never have to…I almost didn’t make it.”
“I don’t know about handsprings,” said Larry as he rested his head on his arms, “over giant bulls and such but I…could…go…toooo…sleeeeeeep…right…here.”
Kendall was already snoring and Kate was fast asleep in Hilts’ arms.
“Thanks, I needed that,” said Hilts as he closed his eyes.
“Why,” I asked, “isn’t the coffee making me sleepy?”
Medea walked over…her closeness, her smell, her smile, “It will…it will.” Or did she say, “Poppies…poppies”…?
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“Hey, you sleepyheads,” shouted Medea, “rise and shine! These eggs aren’t gettin’ any warmer.”
The night was long gone and the sun had been up for a couple of hours. Medea was in the kitchen and Charon was acting as both busboy and waiter. Kendall and Larry were asking for seconds and Kate and Hilts had the smiles of shared dreams on their faces. I was the last to awaken.
“Ya can’t go to Placebo without a good breakfast.”
The night was long gone and the sun had been up for a couple of hours. Medea was in the kitchen and Charon was acting as both busboy and waiter. Kendall and Larry were asking for seconds and Kate and Hilts had the smiles of shared dreams on their faces. I was the last to awaken.
“Ya can’t go to Placebo without a good breakfast.”
Kendall explained, “I’ve been building rat rods…hot rods made from rusty old parts I find in the wastelands. They’ll never win any beauty contests but I’ve one that’s in good enough condition to carry gas and any tools we may need to get there and get Charon’s car running.”
I knew we’d have to go back and get Charon’s car I just wasn’t expecting it to be so soon. Charon’s 40 Ford was not only his primary mode of transportation but it had dozens of water bottles filled from the River Styx stored inside it. Charon had some water stored in his Model T Roadster to last him a couple of days or more but after that he’d either have to return to the River Styx or one of its branches. Medea’s stay in the Borderlands did not appear to have any such conditions.
Larry began tapping his glass to get our attention.
“Kendall’s got what I think is a fairly straightforward plan for going into the wastelands and getting Charon’s car back from the town of Placebo. It’s simple and puts only a few of us at minimal risk. He can explain it better than I can.”
Kendall explained, “I’ve been building rat rods…hot rods made from rusty old parts I find in the wastelands. They’ll never win any beauty contests but I’ve one that’s in good enough condition to carry gas and any tools we may need to get there and get Charon’s car running.”
“Who’ll drive,” I asked, “Charon’s car back here?”
“Larry will drive it. He’ll ride there with me in the rat rod and you’ll ride one of the bikes to scout ahead.”
“It may work,” said Hilts who I thought was going to object. “Charon and Medea, even myself will attract too much attention. The three of you, especially since Kendall and his car have been seen in the wastelands before, will have a smaller profile and a better chance of flying under the radar.”
Kate looked concerned, “Just get in, get some gas in Charon’s car, then get out. Don’t hang around!”
“What if the nice people of Placebo call our bluff;” I asked, “and we gotta get out of there fast…I mean really fast?
Kendall opened, “I’ve had my rat rod up to 130 mph.”
Charon countered, “When it's running right my Ford will see your 130 and raise it a few more mph.”
“Better take the 8-Ball just in case you’ve gotta play for keeps,” said Larry looking at me, “and you need to bet more than the Raider’s 130 mph ante.”
Larry began tapping his glass to get our attention.
“Kendall’s got what I think is a fairly straightforward plan for going into the wastelands and getting Charon’s car back from the town of Placebo. It’s simple and puts only a few of us at minimal risk. He can explain it better than I can.”
Kendall explained, “I’ve been building rat rods…hot rods made from rusty old parts I find in the wastelands. They’ll never win any beauty contests but I’ve one that’s in good enough condition to carry gas and any tools we may need to get there and get Charon’s car running.”
“Who’ll drive,” I asked, “Charon’s car back here?”
“Larry will drive it. He’ll ride there with me in the rat rod and you’ll ride one of the bikes to scout ahead.”
“It may work,” said Hilts who I thought was going to object. “Charon and Medea, even myself will attract too much attention. The three of you, especially since Kendall and his car have been seen in the wastelands before, will have a smaller profile and a better chance of flying under the radar.”
Kate looked concerned, “Just get in, get some gas in Charon’s car, then get out. Don’t hang around!”
“What if the nice people of Placebo call our bluff;” I asked, “and we gotta get out of there fast…I mean really fast?
Kendall opened, “I’ve had my rat rod up to 130 mph.”
Charon countered, “When it's running right my Ford will see your 130 and raise it a few more mph.”
“Better take the 8-Ball just in case you’ve gotta play for keeps,” said Larry looking at me, “and you need to bet more than the Raider’s 130 mph ante.”
“Better take the 8-Ball just in case you gotta play for keeps,” said Larry looking at me, “and you need to bet more than the Raider’s 130 mph ante.”
I would’ve preferred Larry ride the 8-Ball and I drive Charon’s Ford. But since he was a far better mechanic it was best that he bring the Ford back.
It was Kate that told us to lighten up, “Hey everyone, isn’t this the plan that allows you to slip in and out of Placebo under the radar? Sooooo let’s all take a breath and not anticipate some type of ‘pedal to the metal’ death race.
“Kate’s right, we need to relax;” laughed Kendall, “otherwise we’re just projectin’ bad Karma.”
“I agree,” said Larry as he slipped me the keys to the 8-Ball. “I mean, what could go wrong?”
We all relaxed. I had seconds on eggs and the coffee kept coming. Kendall and Larry left to get the rat rod ready and Charon went back to the kitchen to help Medea. Kate then asked Hilts the question we all wanted to ask.
“What happened when you got to the town of Placebo?”
Hilts took so long to answer I thought he wasn’t…but he did, “Got tricked into chasing that damn town car all around town until I ran out of gas. My fault, I should’ve watched the gas gauge on Charon’s Ford more closely.”
Hilts paused then took another drink of coffee, “It was Emma that lured me away from the Ford after it ran out of gas in the middle of the street. I’d popped the hood hoping it was a fuel line problem I could fix. That’s when this girl, I later found out her name was Emma, called for my help from the porch of a nearby building. Sheltered by the porch awning, standing in the shadows she appeared young and beautiful…not that toothless hag that tried to shoot us with the double barreled shotgun.”
I laughed, “Any port in a storm, huh sailor…”
“It wasn’t that sort of thing. She really looked like she could use some help. It wasn’t until I walked over and stepped within the shadows under the porch to see what she wanted that she appeared as you saw her. Her minions wearing overalls and carrying pitchforks then chased and finally cornered me. That’s when you and Larry came to my rescue.”
It was Kate that told us to lighten up, “Hey everyone, isn’t this the plan that allows you to slip in and out of Placebo under the radar? Sooooo let’s all take a breath and not anticipate some type of ‘pedal to the metal’ death race.
“Kate’s right, we need to relax;” laughed Kendall, “otherwise we’re just projectin’ bad Karma.”
“I agree,” said Larry as he slipped me the keys to the 8-Ball. “I mean, what could go wrong?”
We all relaxed. I had seconds on eggs and the coffee kept coming. Kendall and Larry left to get the rat rod ready and Charon went back to the kitchen to help Medea. Kate then asked Hilts the question we all wanted to ask.
“What happened when you got to the town of Placebo?”
Hilts took so long to answer I thought he wasn’t…but he did, “Got tricked into chasing that damn town car all around town until I ran out of gas. My fault, I should’ve watched the gas gauge on Charon’s Ford more closely.”
Hilts paused then took another drink of coffee, “It was Emma that lured me away from the Ford after it ran out of gas in the middle of the street. I’d popped the hood hoping it was a fuel line problem I could fix. That’s when this girl, I later found out her name was Emma, called for my help from the porch of a nearby building. Sheltered by the porch awning, standing in the shadows she appeared young and beautiful…not that toothless hag that tried to shoot us with the double barreled shotgun.”
I laughed, “Any port in a storm, huh sailor…”
“It wasn’t that sort of thing. She really looked like she could use some help. It wasn’t until I walked over and stepped within the shadows under the porch to see what she wanted that she appeared as you saw her. Her minions wearing overalls and carrying pitchforks then chased and finally cornered me. That’s when you and Larry came to my rescue.”
“I understand why you chose to ride the Vegas 8-Ball,” said Kendall. “It’s hard to argue against its lighter weight, its overhead cams and its six-speed transmission. All of those things add up to a higher top speed…which hopefully, if things go as planned, we’ll never use. However if the choice were for brute torque and riding comfort, I injured my back when I was younger riding in the dirt, I would’ve chosen the Yamaha Raider.”
The roar of Kendall’s rat rod pulling into the parking lot interrupted anything further Hilts may have wanted to say. Kendall and Larry had carefully chosen tools that might be needed to get Charon’s car running. They’d also found a way to stuff three five gallon cans of gas into the trunk. Larry then went into Spanky’s Café for a final cup of coffee while Kendall took his time walking over to where I was checking out the Vegas 8-Ball.
“I understand why you chose to ride the Vegas 8-Ball,” said Kendall. “It’s hard to argue against its lighter weight, its overhead cams and its six-speed transmission. All of those things add up to a higher top speed…which hopefully, if things go as planned, we’ll never use. However if the choice were for brute torque and riding comfort, I injured my back when I was younger riding in the dirt, I would’ve chosen the Yamaha Raider.”
Kendall was right, the Raider was the more comfortable bike to ride and I was still tempted to take it. However the ‘what-if’ factor of being chased made me choose the 8-Ball. Shorter wheelbase, lighter by almost 200 pounds…powerful higher revving engine; the choice wasn’t too hard to make.
“The 8-Ball’s already topped off; shouted Larry, “we’re leaving in a few minutes.”
“Keep two and give Larry two,” said Hilts as walked over and handed me four full 10mm magazines for the Glock 20 Larry and I both carried, “I’m still healing so four was as many as I could conjure for now.”
Seconds later Kendall’s rat rod pulled up next to me. Larry was in the passenger seat. I walked around and handed him the two extra 10mm clips then walked back to the Vegas 8-Ball. Kendall motioned for me to take the lead.
Riding away made me realize just how beautiful the landscape around Spanky’s Café was and not to take it for granted and how much more I’d appreciate it once we were in the wastelands and even more upon return.
The ‘I’d turn back if I were you’ sign was still there.
“I understand why you chose to ride the Vegas 8-Ball,” said Kendall. “It’s hard to argue against its lighter weight, its overhead cams and its six-speed transmission. All of those things add up to a higher top speed…which hopefully, if things go as planned, we’ll never use. However if the choice were for brute torque and riding comfort, I injured my back when I was younger riding in the dirt, I would’ve chosen the Yamaha Raider.”
Kendall was right, the Raider was the more comfortable bike to ride and I was still tempted to take it. However the ‘what-if’ factor of being chased made me choose the 8-Ball. Shorter wheelbase, lighter by almost 200 pounds…powerful higher revving engine; the choice wasn’t too hard to make.
“The 8-Ball’s already topped off; shouted Larry, “we’re leaving in a few minutes.”
“Keep two and give Larry two,” said Hilts as walked over and handed me four full 10mm magazines for the Glock 20 Larry and I both carried, “I’m still healing so four was as many as I could conjure for now.”
Seconds later Kendall’s rat rod pulled up next to me. Larry was in the passenger seat. I walked around and handed him the two extra 10mm clips then walked back to the Vegas 8-Ball. Kendall motioned for me to take the lead.
Riding away made me realize just how beautiful the landscape around Spanky’s Café was and not to take it for granted and how much more I’d appreciate it once we were in the wastelands and even more upon return.
The ‘I’d turn back if I were you’ sign was still there.
Riding away made me realize just how beautiful the landscape around Spanky’s Café was and not to take it for granted and how much more I’d appreciate it once we were in the wastelands and even more upon return.