Welcome to the Borderlands
- Chapter 31 -
No Eggs and Onions Just Coffee Please
“When I die I want to meet God and say, what the Hell were you thinking…like what were you thinking?” -Indian Larry from an episode of Discovery Channel’s television series THE GREAT BIKER BUILD-OFF
“I see the angel in the marble and carve until I set him free…Every block of stone has a statue inside it and it is the task of the sculptor to discover it.” -Michelangelo
“I get some ideas of kind of what I want to do then whatever it takes to see it through; that’s the way I do it. I treat it like sculpture. I like to see the frame up there and then let it flow; let it happen, whatever comes natural. When you hear the bike breathe its first breath that’s probably the biggest reward…every bike is like a child or work of art, like a creation that goes from dream to reality.” -Kendall Johnson of KENDALL JOHNSON CUSTOMS from an episode of Discovery Channel’s television series THE GREAT BIKER BUILD-OFF
“Roll with the mystery; life’s uncertain. Just be comfortable with that…why fight it?” -Indian Larry from an episode of Discovery Channel’s television series THE GREAT BIKER BUILD-OFF
“I have more faith in you than you have in you.” -Paul Cox to Robert Pradke from an episode of Discovery Channel’s television series THE GREAT BIKER BUILD-OFF and MATTHEW 14:31
“I see the angel in the marble and carve until I set him free…Every block of stone has a statue inside it and it is the task of the sculptor to discover it.” -Michelangelo
“I get some ideas of kind of what I want to do then whatever it takes to see it through; that’s the way I do it. I treat it like sculpture. I like to see the frame up there and then let it flow; let it happen, whatever comes natural. When you hear the bike breathe its first breath that’s probably the biggest reward…every bike is like a child or work of art, like a creation that goes from dream to reality.” -Kendall Johnson of KENDALL JOHNSON CUSTOMS from an episode of Discovery Channel’s television series THE GREAT BIKER BUILD-OFF
“Roll with the mystery; life’s uncertain. Just be comfortable with that…why fight it?” -Indian Larry from an episode of Discovery Channel’s television series THE GREAT BIKER BUILD-OFF
“I have more faith in you than you have in you.” -Paul Cox to Robert Pradke from an episode of Discovery Channel’s television series THE GREAT BIKER BUILD-OFF and MATTHEW 14:31
It was late afternoon when we returned to the Borderlands…The landscape had been changing but in reverse from when we’d left. The wastelands were now turning to scrub and the scrub into grassland. Five more miles of grassland and we’d be back at Spanky’s Café.
It was late afternoon when we returned to the Borderlands. The sign saying ‘I’d turn back if I were you’ warning travelers not to enter the wastelands was still there. Actually the sign was facing away from us because we were returning. The landscape had been changing but in reverse from when we’d left. The wastelands were now turning to scrub and the scrub was now turning into grassland. Five more miles of grassland and we’d be back at Spanky’s Café.
Speaking of turning, Spanky’s had turned on their sign and outside lights more to attract patrons than to illuminate. Charon’s 40 Ford, recently repaired by Kendall and Larry, was parked outside. Other cars were beginning to fill the parking lot and classic Doo Wop music could be heard playing. The song “Duke of Earl” was just finishing. Elvis and his small group could sing all the oldies.
With Larry and me at each side to help him up the steps; Kendall hobbled into Spanky’s.
“Just give me a minute,” said Kendall as he favored his broken left leg. “Go find us a table.”
“He needs more than a minute and I need to take a look at that leg,” said Medea from behind us and at the same time she directed Charon to more carry than guide Kendall into one of the kitchen’s back rooms. “You two go find, they’re seated near the stage, Hilts and Kate. We’ll take it from here.”
Elvis and his band of three made a quartet. Normally when Elvis performed he’d sing a medley of his favorites while playing his guitar, and the piano, bass and sax players would accompany him. Tonight’s theme was Doo Wop and the quartet was vocalizing its way through favorites from groups like The Drifters, The Coasters and The Fleetwoods. Other groups were also being honored by their harmony.
Kate and Hilts had corralled a table near the stage and were waving us in for landing. Larry and I circled the room then touched down seconds later.
“Ben Franklin once said he knows God loves us because he gave us beer,” Larry laughed as he poured himself a glass.
Speaking of turning, Spanky’s had turned on their sign and outside lights more to attract patrons than to illuminate. Charon’s 40 Ford, recently repaired by Kendall and Larry, was parked outside. Other cars were beginning to fill the parking lot and classic Doo Wop music could be heard playing. The song “Duke of Earl” was just finishing. Elvis and his small group could sing all the oldies.
With Larry and me at each side to help him up the steps; Kendall hobbled into Spanky’s.
“Just give me a minute,” said Kendall as he favored his broken left leg. “Go find us a table.”
“He needs more than a minute and I need to take a look at that leg,” said Medea from behind us and at the same time she directed Charon to more carry than guide Kendall into one of the kitchen’s back rooms. “You two go find, they’re seated near the stage, Hilts and Kate. We’ll take it from here.”
Elvis and his band of three made a quartet. Normally when Elvis performed he’d sing a medley of his favorites while playing his guitar, and the piano, bass and sax players would accompany him. Tonight’s theme was Doo Wop and the quartet was vocalizing its way through favorites from groups like The Drifters, The Coasters and The Fleetwoods. Other groups were also being honored by their harmony.
Kate and Hilts had corralled a table near the stage and were waving us in for landing. Larry and I circled the room then touched down seconds later.
“Ben Franklin once said he knows God loves us because he gave us beer,” Larry laughed as he poured himself a glass.
Charon’s 40 Ford, recently repaired and made running by Kendall and Larry, was parked outside Spanky’s Café.
“Ben Franklin also loved,” Kate laughed in return, “French women so much he volunteered to be appointed America’s ambassador to France.”
“He also loved kites and thunderstorms, bifocals and potbelly stoves;” added Hilts, “and you’re back in one piece. Speaking of pieces, Kendall’s broken leg is in good hands.”
Larry proceeded to tell Kate and Hilts, more for Kate’s benefit, what had happened in our adventure to rescue Charon’s Ford and its load of River Styx water and how Kendall’s plan started out to be a low-key salvage operation.
“Kendall’s plan actually started out,” said Larry, “to be a low-key, under-the-radar operation. Everything was mellow, everything was going great. We’d found Charon’s car. It had been vandalized but it was repairable. We were almost finished with the repairs when they began to…”
“Who’s they,” interrupted Kate, “they began to what?”
“They, being the hive and under the direction of Queen Emma, began to swarm,” continued Larry, “inside the main building. Shooting two 10mm rounds,” Larry nodded at me, “into the building quieted them down and bought us the time to finish. Hilts arrived minutes later on the Raider and gave us the flares to start the fires. We ended up burning the nest…we ended up burning the town of Placebo to the ground.”
“And don’t forget,” I added, “Kendall knowing to stop the ‘new’ queen and her entourage from getting away in the tanker truck. Had he not guessed the old queen Emma would attempt to start a new hive who knows where this would have ended? It cost him a broken leg and his favorite rat rod but he stopped them.”
“It makes sense,” said Kate, “the old queen would start a new hive especially if she felt that she and her old hive were threatened. Out of curiosity what did her eggs look like?”
“Promise not to laugh but her egg sack looked a lot like a sack of red onions.”
“Like the bags,” added Kate, “of about seven or eight red onions you see packaged in red netting at grocery stores?”
“Yes, the same…and how did you know that?”
“Because,” answered Kate, “earlier this afternoon we were offered and purchased a truck full of produce for the restaurant. Two bags of red onions were in the lot…we got a great deal…couldn’t pass it up.”
“What,” interjected Larry, “did the driver look like?”
“Actually there were two of them.”
“My bad…what did the drivers,” Larry politely asked again, “look like?”
“Funny you would ask;” answered Kate, “but they looked like identical twins…they were even wearing the same kind of ...”
“Bib-overalls,” Kate and I said in unison.
It was my turn to ask a question, “Where did they go after they delivered the produce?”
“They didn’t…they’ve been sitting at the table in the corner behind you since they made the delivery. They said they were waiting for another truck and that they’d head back together as soon as it arrived.”
I shouldn’t have looked but I did; and Kate was right on all accounts. They were identical twins and they were wearing the same artist Grant Wood ‘American Gothic’ bib-overalls, minus the pitchforks, we’d seen being worn in the town of Placebo by everyone but Queen Emma. They were also sitting at the table closest to the produce coolers, they were most likely armed to the teeth and they were looking directly at us.
“Well they’ve got a long wait for a train that ain’t comin’,” said Larry the same time he turned to look at the two drivers. “They must’ve brought the advance guards, the new hive’s soldiers that will protect the new queen’s nest?”
“No one else arrived with the two drivers?”
“The guards are already in your cooler.”
“But I was the only one,” continued Kate, “to go in and out of the cooler to store the produce…no one else.”
“The guards are the eggs a.k.a. the red onions, you stored in your cooler and they’ve likely already hatched.”
Larry continued, “The two drivers are here to guard the cooler.”
“What,” asked Kate, “are they guarding against?”
“They’re here to make sure no one interrupts the eggs a.k.a. the red onions a.k.a. the advance guard from hatching. When the drivers feel the guards have grown strong enough they’ll open the cooler doors and let them out…gives new meaning to the phrase…olly, olly oxen free…”
“You’re ruining,” said Kate, “one of my favorite breakfasts…a veggie omelet with onions.”
“What,” and I really didn’t want to know, “will they look like after they hatch?”
“Did you ever see the movie Chucky meets Alien?”
“Didn’t it star Sigourney Weaver and Danny DeVito and wasn’t it about a puppet that ran around eating people?”
“Now imagine,” said Larry, “about twelve of those little buggers but on steroids running around so fast you can’t catch them, eating most anything and you’ve got an idea of what we’re up against. Once they’re out of the cooler and scatter there’s nothing that’ll be able to hunt them down.”
“I know of someone,” thinking of how fast I’d seen him move, “that could hunt them down.”
“You’re not thinking,” Larry had read my mind, “of getting Shaun the chameleon to do it?”
“Hey, what are the odds…we’ve got a chameleon named Shaun,” Kate interrupted, “that visits Spanky’s some nights. He sits on the piano and sings along with Elvis. The customers love him but he’s harmless and much too small to hunt those creatures. And besides the only thing I’ve ever seen him eat are the bar nuts and cigarette butts off customer’s tables.”
“Have you ever seen Shaun in the sunlight?”
“No,” said Kate, “I haven’t. He always leaves after the last set is played just before we close…often with Kendall.”
“Do you know where he stays during the daytime?”
“Not really…my guess is he stays near Kendall’s place, but I really don’t know for sure?”
“He also loved kites and thunderstorms, bifocals and potbelly stoves;” added Hilts, “and you’re back in one piece. Speaking of pieces, Kendall’s broken leg is in good hands.”
Larry proceeded to tell Kate and Hilts, more for Kate’s benefit, what had happened in our adventure to rescue Charon’s Ford and its load of River Styx water and how Kendall’s plan started out to be a low-key salvage operation.
“Kendall’s plan actually started out,” said Larry, “to be a low-key, under-the-radar operation. Everything was mellow, everything was going great. We’d found Charon’s car. It had been vandalized but it was repairable. We were almost finished with the repairs when they began to…”
“Who’s they,” interrupted Kate, “they began to what?”
“They, being the hive and under the direction of Queen Emma, began to swarm,” continued Larry, “inside the main building. Shooting two 10mm rounds,” Larry nodded at me, “into the building quieted them down and bought us the time to finish. Hilts arrived minutes later on the Raider and gave us the flares to start the fires. We ended up burning the nest…we ended up burning the town of Placebo to the ground.”
“And don’t forget,” I added, “Kendall knowing to stop the ‘new’ queen and her entourage from getting away in the tanker truck. Had he not guessed the old queen Emma would attempt to start a new hive who knows where this would have ended? It cost him a broken leg and his favorite rat rod but he stopped them.”
“It makes sense,” said Kate, “the old queen would start a new hive especially if she felt that she and her old hive were threatened. Out of curiosity what did her eggs look like?”
“Promise not to laugh but her egg sack looked a lot like a sack of red onions.”
“Like the bags,” added Kate, “of about seven or eight red onions you see packaged in red netting at grocery stores?”
“Yes, the same…and how did you know that?”
“Because,” answered Kate, “earlier this afternoon we were offered and purchased a truck full of produce for the restaurant. Two bags of red onions were in the lot…we got a great deal…couldn’t pass it up.”
“What,” interjected Larry, “did the driver look like?”
“Actually there were two of them.”
“My bad…what did the drivers,” Larry politely asked again, “look like?”
“Funny you would ask;” answered Kate, “but they looked like identical twins…they were even wearing the same kind of ...”
“Bib-overalls,” Kate and I said in unison.
It was my turn to ask a question, “Where did they go after they delivered the produce?”
“They didn’t…they’ve been sitting at the table in the corner behind you since they made the delivery. They said they were waiting for another truck and that they’d head back together as soon as it arrived.”
I shouldn’t have looked but I did; and Kate was right on all accounts. They were identical twins and they were wearing the same artist Grant Wood ‘American Gothic’ bib-overalls, minus the pitchforks, we’d seen being worn in the town of Placebo by everyone but Queen Emma. They were also sitting at the table closest to the produce coolers, they were most likely armed to the teeth and they were looking directly at us.
“Well they’ve got a long wait for a train that ain’t comin’,” said Larry the same time he turned to look at the two drivers. “They must’ve brought the advance guards, the new hive’s soldiers that will protect the new queen’s nest?”
“No one else arrived with the two drivers?”
“The guards are already in your cooler.”
“But I was the only one,” continued Kate, “to go in and out of the cooler to store the produce…no one else.”
“The guards are the eggs a.k.a. the red onions, you stored in your cooler and they’ve likely already hatched.”
Larry continued, “The two drivers are here to guard the cooler.”
“What,” asked Kate, “are they guarding against?”
“They’re here to make sure no one interrupts the eggs a.k.a. the red onions a.k.a. the advance guard from hatching. When the drivers feel the guards have grown strong enough they’ll open the cooler doors and let them out…gives new meaning to the phrase…olly, olly oxen free…”
“You’re ruining,” said Kate, “one of my favorite breakfasts…a veggie omelet with onions.”
“What,” and I really didn’t want to know, “will they look like after they hatch?”
“Did you ever see the movie Chucky meets Alien?”
“Didn’t it star Sigourney Weaver and Danny DeVito and wasn’t it about a puppet that ran around eating people?”
“Now imagine,” said Larry, “about twelve of those little buggers but on steroids running around so fast you can’t catch them, eating most anything and you’ve got an idea of what we’re up against. Once they’re out of the cooler and scatter there’s nothing that’ll be able to hunt them down.”
“I know of someone,” thinking of how fast I’d seen him move, “that could hunt them down.”
“You’re not thinking,” Larry had read my mind, “of getting Shaun the chameleon to do it?”
“Hey, what are the odds…we’ve got a chameleon named Shaun,” Kate interrupted, “that visits Spanky’s some nights. He sits on the piano and sings along with Elvis. The customers love him but he’s harmless and much too small to hunt those creatures. And besides the only thing I’ve ever seen him eat are the bar nuts and cigarette butts off customer’s tables.”
“Have you ever seen Shaun in the sunlight?”
“No,” said Kate, “I haven’t. He always leaves after the last set is played just before we close…often with Kendall.”
“Do you know where he stays during the daytime?”
“Not really…my guess is he stays near Kendall’s place, but I really don’t know for sure?”
“Hey, what are the odds…we’ve got a chameleon named Shaun,” Kate interrupted, “that visits Spanky’s some nights. He sits on the piano and sings along with Elvis. The customers love him but he’s harmless and much too small to hunt those creatures. And besides the only thing I’ve ever seen him eat are the bar nuts and cigarette butts off customer’s tables.”
“I do, I know where he stays,” said Kendall from the doorway. “I’ll show you.”
Kendall’s left leg was in a cast and he was on crutches but he looked a lot better. Charon and Medea were at his side.
“Amend that to he’ll give you directions to where Shaun stays,” interrupted Medea.
“Kendall’s going to be resting at his cabin for awhile if he wants his leg to mend correctly. I couldn’t use magic to heal it but the bones are in alignment and he’s got a good cast…can’t risk undoing my work.”
“It’s not that far from my place,” added Kendall. “I’ll draw you directions.”
“OK...just directions;” Medea was being generous, “then straight home to bed…doctor’s orders!”
Larry had gotten a piece of butcher paper and a marker from Kate and had brought it over to the table where Kendall was sitting.
“About a hundred yards before my cabin,” Kendall was already sketching, “is a turnoff leading to a frontage road that in about a half mile goes past some deserted warehouses. Painted on the side of the third warehouse is a mural…a portrait of a man painted in different colors of blue.”
“What does,” I had to ask in case there were other murals, “this mural or portrait look like?”
“It’s of a man with red hair and a red beard and it’s painted mostly in blue and it’s the only mural I’ve seen.”
“So does Shaun live,” It was Larry’s turn to ask Kendall a question, “in that warehouse?”
“That’s the weird part. So I let Shaun off, he’s standing in front of the mural looking up at it, I turn away for a second and he’s gone. I thought he had a small door on the side but when I checked I found nothing. I even walked around to a window and looked inside. The warehouse is empty.”
“Did you ever,” I asked, “just ask him where he lived?”
“No,” answered Kendall. “When he’s here he only loves jumping up on the piano and singing. I don’t think I’ve heard him have a real conversation with anyone.”
“Nothing,” I had to be sure, “no small talk?”
Finding Shaun wasn’t going to be easy and we needed his special hunting skills and we had no leads. I was beginning to give up hope.
“Although I did hear him once talk to…” Kendall hesitated, “…and I know it sounds crazy.”
“…to what” Kate asked. “What did he talk to?”
“It sounds crazy but he talked to the mural.”
“What did he say,” now I sounded crazy, “to it?”
“It was riddle or limerick of some kind or an answer to a riddle. It went like…”
Before Kendall could recite whatever he was about to remember Medea began to speak:
“High diddle, diddle you could ask it a riddle
Or to solve some puzzle of…sorts…
But it’d be easier to just shout for Shaun to come out
Than to find something that rhymes with…sorts…”
“That’s the password,” laughed Larry, “to getting Shaun to come out?”
“Hey, I’m kidding,” answered Medea. “Just walk up to the mural and ask for Shaun.”
“Who are,” I had to ask, “we asking?”
“The mural, rather the witch that’s taken the shape of the portrait, rather the witch that’s been sentenced to portal patrol,” said Medea, “is one I probably know and I should probably go with you. Actually both Charon and I should probably go with you then drive Kendall home and make sure he takes his meds and his broken leg is elevated.”
“Is this witch any danger to us,” asked Larry, “if we try to find Shaun?”
“Probably not,” Medea answered. “For him to have been made into a mural most of his magic has been taken away.”
“Why?”
“If he still had his magic he’d have freed himself or tricked someone else into taking his place.”
“And you may know,” said Larry, “this witch?”
Kendall’s left leg was in a cast and he was on crutches but he looked a lot better. Charon and Medea were at his side.
“Amend that to he’ll give you directions to where Shaun stays,” interrupted Medea.
“Kendall’s going to be resting at his cabin for awhile if he wants his leg to mend correctly. I couldn’t use magic to heal it but the bones are in alignment and he’s got a good cast…can’t risk undoing my work.”
“It’s not that far from my place,” added Kendall. “I’ll draw you directions.”
“OK...just directions;” Medea was being generous, “then straight home to bed…doctor’s orders!”
Larry had gotten a piece of butcher paper and a marker from Kate and had brought it over to the table where Kendall was sitting.
“About a hundred yards before my cabin,” Kendall was already sketching, “is a turnoff leading to a frontage road that in about a half mile goes past some deserted warehouses. Painted on the side of the third warehouse is a mural…a portrait of a man painted in different colors of blue.”
“What does,” I had to ask in case there were other murals, “this mural or portrait look like?”
“It’s of a man with red hair and a red beard and it’s painted mostly in blue and it’s the only mural I’ve seen.”
“So does Shaun live,” It was Larry’s turn to ask Kendall a question, “in that warehouse?”
“That’s the weird part. So I let Shaun off, he’s standing in front of the mural looking up at it, I turn away for a second and he’s gone. I thought he had a small door on the side but when I checked I found nothing. I even walked around to a window and looked inside. The warehouse is empty.”
“Did you ever,” I asked, “just ask him where he lived?”
“No,” answered Kendall. “When he’s here he only loves jumping up on the piano and singing. I don’t think I’ve heard him have a real conversation with anyone.”
“Nothing,” I had to be sure, “no small talk?”
Finding Shaun wasn’t going to be easy and we needed his special hunting skills and we had no leads. I was beginning to give up hope.
“Although I did hear him once talk to…” Kendall hesitated, “…and I know it sounds crazy.”
“…to what” Kate asked. “What did he talk to?”
“It sounds crazy but he talked to the mural.”
“What did he say,” now I sounded crazy, “to it?”
“It was riddle or limerick of some kind or an answer to a riddle. It went like…”
Before Kendall could recite whatever he was about to remember Medea began to speak:
“High diddle, diddle you could ask it a riddle
Or to solve some puzzle of…sorts…
But it’d be easier to just shout for Shaun to come out
Than to find something that rhymes with…sorts…”
“That’s the password,” laughed Larry, “to getting Shaun to come out?”
“Hey, I’m kidding,” answered Medea. “Just walk up to the mural and ask for Shaun.”
“Who are,” I had to ask, “we asking?”
“The mural, rather the witch that’s taken the shape of the portrait, rather the witch that’s been sentenced to portal patrol,” said Medea, “is one I probably know and I should probably go with you. Actually both Charon and I should probably go with you then drive Kendall home and make sure he takes his meds and his broken leg is elevated.”
“Is this witch any danger to us,” asked Larry, “if we try to find Shaun?”
“Probably not,” Medea answered. “For him to have been made into a mural most of his magic has been taken away.”
“Why?”
“If he still had his magic he’d have freed himself or tricked someone else into taking his place.”
“And you may know,” said Larry, “this witch?”
“Is this mural,” Medea asked, “colored in a mosaic of different shades of blue?”
“It is,” said Kendall.
“Then it’s most likely my old friend Vincent.”
“It is,” said Kendall.
“Then it’s most likely my old friend Vincent.”
“Is this mural,” Medea asked, “colored in a mosaic of different shades of blue?”
“It is,” said Kendall.
“Then it’s likely my old friend Vincent.”
“Isn’t Vincent,” said Larry, “the name of a man?”
“Vincent’s favorite color’s blue,” Media continued as if she’d not heard Larry’s question, “and he’s always in debt making bets he can’t pay off. Being made into a guardian mural as punishment for not paying a gambling debt sounds like a mess he’d get himself into. If it is him, he should let me pass…oh, and for the record male witches have been called witches or warlocks or wizards.”
“Wouldn’t it be better,” I asked, “to simply get Vincent to let Shaun come out to us?”
“Good point, amend that to,” added Medea, “Vincent should let Shaun come out to us. And besides, ol’ Mr. Blue owes me. Over the years I’ve gotten him out of more jams than I can count.”
“Ol’ Mr. Blue,” laughed Larry, “is that what you call Vincent?”
“Yup,” Medea laughed in return. “When sober he’s an excellent one-of-a-kind artist, troubled but excellent, and a good friend but he does need his share of rescuing…mostly from his own impulsiveness.”
“Impulsiveness?”
“Yup…one time I was delayed and couldn’t get to him and he cut off his ear.”
There was nothing to do but wait until closing. Elvis and his vocal group made up a quartet and since it was Doo Wop night proceeded to treat Spanky’s Café to the best songs. The two drivers sitting behind us were like stone gargoyles and oblivious to everything but guarding the entrance to the coolers. Rushing them was risky as we were sure they were armed and Spanky’s was packed with fans…mostly old farts reliving the 50s and 60s and trying to forget they had to pee.
“You and Larry,” said Medea, “get your bikes.”
“Who’s going to close-up Spanky’s?”
“Hilts and I,” answered Kate, “we’ve done it before. We’ll stay here and guard the café.”
Elvis and his group ended the evening with the song “Stand by Me” by The Drifters and a “…thank you, thankyouverymuch…”... As soon as the song was over Spanky’s Café began to empty of patrons. Mostly because they’d grown up in the 1950s; they had small bladders and were anxious to get home. A 2 AM closing turned into a 3 AM departure after Medea had given instructions to Hilts and Kate just to close the doors and wait. Waiting would be hardest on Hilts as he was prone to act on impulse sometimes to his own detriment.
Once Spanky’s closed and the last of the crowd had gone home. Charon and Medea drove around to the front and carefully put Kendall with his broken leg in the backseat. The two drivers stayed in their seats near the coolers. Larry and I rode around and lined-up behind Charon’s 40 Ford.
“We’re making a point not to confront the two drivers guarding the coolers,” said Kate. “Hilts is doing his best not to go berserk and attack them. Get back as soon as you can; Hilts is manageable but only for a certain amount of time.”
Media gave the signal for Charon to head towards Kendall’s place and we followed. The ride was a short ten minutes before we turned down a side road. This must’ve been the frontage road near Kendall’s house that had the abandoned warehouses. As described one of the warehouses had a large mural, more of a portrait painted in blue of a man with a head of red hair and a red beard. We found it in less than a minute and parked in front.
“Park in front of him,” Medea was already in command. “Make sure your headlights are on bright and shinning directly into his face.”
“Get those damn lights outta my face,” shouted the red headed portrait of Vincent whose face was already changing into scowl, “or I’ll…”
“It is,” said Kendall.
“Then it’s likely my old friend Vincent.”
“Isn’t Vincent,” said Larry, “the name of a man?”
“Vincent’s favorite color’s blue,” Media continued as if she’d not heard Larry’s question, “and he’s always in debt making bets he can’t pay off. Being made into a guardian mural as punishment for not paying a gambling debt sounds like a mess he’d get himself into. If it is him, he should let me pass…oh, and for the record male witches have been called witches or warlocks or wizards.”
“Wouldn’t it be better,” I asked, “to simply get Vincent to let Shaun come out to us?”
“Good point, amend that to,” added Medea, “Vincent should let Shaun come out to us. And besides, ol’ Mr. Blue owes me. Over the years I’ve gotten him out of more jams than I can count.”
“Ol’ Mr. Blue,” laughed Larry, “is that what you call Vincent?”
“Yup,” Medea laughed in return. “When sober he’s an excellent one-of-a-kind artist, troubled but excellent, and a good friend but he does need his share of rescuing…mostly from his own impulsiveness.”
“Impulsiveness?”
“Yup…one time I was delayed and couldn’t get to him and he cut off his ear.”
There was nothing to do but wait until closing. Elvis and his vocal group made up a quartet and since it was Doo Wop night proceeded to treat Spanky’s Café to the best songs. The two drivers sitting behind us were like stone gargoyles and oblivious to everything but guarding the entrance to the coolers. Rushing them was risky as we were sure they were armed and Spanky’s was packed with fans…mostly old farts reliving the 50s and 60s and trying to forget they had to pee.
“You and Larry,” said Medea, “get your bikes.”
“Who’s going to close-up Spanky’s?”
“Hilts and I,” answered Kate, “we’ve done it before. We’ll stay here and guard the café.”
Elvis and his group ended the evening with the song “Stand by Me” by The Drifters and a “…thank you, thankyouverymuch…”... As soon as the song was over Spanky’s Café began to empty of patrons. Mostly because they’d grown up in the 1950s; they had small bladders and were anxious to get home. A 2 AM closing turned into a 3 AM departure after Medea had given instructions to Hilts and Kate just to close the doors and wait. Waiting would be hardest on Hilts as he was prone to act on impulse sometimes to his own detriment.
Once Spanky’s closed and the last of the crowd had gone home. Charon and Medea drove around to the front and carefully put Kendall with his broken leg in the backseat. The two drivers stayed in their seats near the coolers. Larry and I rode around and lined-up behind Charon’s 40 Ford.
“We’re making a point not to confront the two drivers guarding the coolers,” said Kate. “Hilts is doing his best not to go berserk and attack them. Get back as soon as you can; Hilts is manageable but only for a certain amount of time.”
Media gave the signal for Charon to head towards Kendall’s place and we followed. The ride was a short ten minutes before we turned down a side road. This must’ve been the frontage road near Kendall’s house that had the abandoned warehouses. As described one of the warehouses had a large mural, more of a portrait painted in blue of a man with a head of red hair and a red beard. We found it in less than a minute and parked in front.
“Park in front of him,” Medea was already in command. “Make sure your headlights are on bright and shinning directly into his face.”
“Get those damn lights outta my face,” shouted the red headed portrait of Vincent whose face was already changing into scowl, “or I’ll…”
“Get those damn lights outta my face,” shouted the red headed portrait whose face was already changing into scowl, “or I’ll…”
“…or you’ll,” Medea shouted back, “do what?”
“Medea…is that you?”
“In person, and I need you to get Shaun out here…we need to talk with him. And hold onto his tail.”
“What’s in it for me?”
“What’s in it for you is I don’t permanently make you that mural.”
“Ok…Ok…no need for threats.”
Shaun appeared from the bottom of the mural, except for his tail which was being held tightly by Vincent.
“Larry, I thought I recognized your voice;” said Shaun, “what can I do for you?”
Larry got off his Vegas 8 Ball and walked over to where Shaun was being held by his tail.
“Go ahead and let go of his tail. We’ve got it from here.”
Shaun could’ve run but he didn’t, instead he walked over to where Larry and I were standing. At night Shaun was Shaun the chameleon a.k.a. eater of bar nuts and cigarette butts and singer of Doo Wop songs. At day Shaun changed into a six foot tall velociraptor…fortunately Larry and I had befriended Shaun when he was both.
“Shaun we’re going to need your daytime skills. In return you’ll be treated to an all-you-can-eat-buffet.
“And don’t forget your new home,” Medea shouted, “with Kendall. He’s ok with it if you promise not to eat the neighbors.”
“It’ll work out when I have to leave the Borderlands,” Kendall added, “and travel back to North Carolina. Knowing you’re there and guarding my stuff will be better than having a dozen pit-bulls.”
Medea turned to look at Vincent, “What do you owe to have been turned into a mural?”
“Nothing,” Vincent answered embarrassedly. “I made the mistake of touching the mural that was already here. Not knowing it was another witch I was immediately transferred to her position on the wall…she was so beautiful.”
“Medea…is that you?”
“In person, and I need you to get Shaun out here…we need to talk with him. And hold onto his tail.”
“What’s in it for me?”
“What’s in it for you is I don’t permanently make you that mural.”
“Ok…Ok…no need for threats.”
Shaun appeared from the bottom of the mural, except for his tail which was being held tightly by Vincent.
“Larry, I thought I recognized your voice;” said Shaun, “what can I do for you?”
Larry got off his Vegas 8 Ball and walked over to where Shaun was being held by his tail.
“Go ahead and let go of his tail. We’ve got it from here.”
Shaun could’ve run but he didn’t, instead he walked over to where Larry and I were standing. At night Shaun was Shaun the chameleon a.k.a. eater of bar nuts and cigarette butts and singer of Doo Wop songs. At day Shaun changed into a six foot tall velociraptor…fortunately Larry and I had befriended Shaun when he was both.
“Shaun we’re going to need your daytime skills. In return you’ll be treated to an all-you-can-eat-buffet.
“And don’t forget your new home,” Medea shouted, “with Kendall. He’s ok with it if you promise not to eat the neighbors.”
“It’ll work out when I have to leave the Borderlands,” Kendall added, “and travel back to North Carolina. Knowing you’re there and guarding my stuff will be better than having a dozen pit-bulls.”
Medea turned to look at Vincent, “What do you owe to have been turned into a mural?”
“Nothing,” Vincent answered embarrassedly. “I made the mistake of touching the mural that was already here. Not knowing it was another witch I was immediately transferred to her position on the wall…she was so beautiful.”
The mural began to puddle then drip onto the ground. From the paint drippings on the ground rose up the form of a man that quickly became Vincent. The complete transformation took less than a minute.
“Ok…ok…I get it…love explains your entanglement. I’ll break the spell but you owe me. I’m not supposed to do magic but maybe it’ll be forgiven as it is a selfless act.”
Medea looked directly at the mural of Vincent and simply said, “Release the old fart!”
The mural began to puddle then drip onto the ground. From the paint drippings on the ground rose up the form of a man that quickly became Vincent. The complete transformation took less than a minute.
Vincent wasted no time running off down the road. Not once did he look back.
Medea shouted after him, “Remember…you owe me!”
“Medea,” said Larry, ‘you and Charon drive Kendall home. We’ll get Shaun back to Spanky’s Café. Kate and Hilts are expecting us before sunrise. Once the sun rises and the buffet is over Shaun will return to Kendall’s place.”
“Only if the buffet’s big enough to satisfy my appetite…hey, just kidding…I know a good thing when I see it. Kendall’s a good friend and I’ve gotten used to living life as chameleon, singing at night with Elvis and eating cigarette butts and bar nuts.”
There really wasn’t much else that could be said. Charon and Medea got back into the 40 Ford and drove away to Kendall’s cabin. Larry and I scooped up the chameleon Shaun, tucked him into my backpack and rode back to Spanky’s Café. The whole process took twenty minutes.
“Where’s,” asked Kate, “Shaun?”
“At your service,” answered Shaun as he climbed out of my backpack. “I can’t change into a velociraptor until sunrise…soooo if you don’t mind I’ll just listen to some of my jukebox favorites until buffet time.”
“Where,” asked Larry, “are the two drivers?”
“The drivers went into the cooler when you arrived.”
“Bon appetit,” said Shaun as he exited the cooler an hour after the sun rose. “The drivers were desert and…yes, it’ll be hard going back to a diet of bar nuts and cigarette butts.”
Medea looked directly at the mural of Vincent and simply said, “Release the old fart!”
The mural began to puddle then drip onto the ground. From the paint drippings on the ground rose up the form of a man that quickly became Vincent. The complete transformation took less than a minute.
Vincent wasted no time running off down the road. Not once did he look back.
Medea shouted after him, “Remember…you owe me!”
“Medea,” said Larry, ‘you and Charon drive Kendall home. We’ll get Shaun back to Spanky’s Café. Kate and Hilts are expecting us before sunrise. Once the sun rises and the buffet is over Shaun will return to Kendall’s place.”
“Only if the buffet’s big enough to satisfy my appetite…hey, just kidding…I know a good thing when I see it. Kendall’s a good friend and I’ve gotten used to living life as chameleon, singing at night with Elvis and eating cigarette butts and bar nuts.”
There really wasn’t much else that could be said. Charon and Medea got back into the 40 Ford and drove away to Kendall’s cabin. Larry and I scooped up the chameleon Shaun, tucked him into my backpack and rode back to Spanky’s Café. The whole process took twenty minutes.
“Where’s,” asked Kate, “Shaun?”
“At your service,” answered Shaun as he climbed out of my backpack. “I can’t change into a velociraptor until sunrise…soooo if you don’t mind I’ll just listen to some of my jukebox favorites until buffet time.”
“Where,” asked Larry, “are the two drivers?”
“The drivers went into the cooler when you arrived.”
“Bon appetit,” said Shaun as he exited the cooler an hour after the sun rose. “The drivers were desert and…yes, it’ll be hard going back to a diet of bar nuts and cigarette butts.”
“Bon appetit,” said Shaun as he exited the cooler an hour after the sun rose. “The drivers were desert and…yes, it’ll be hard going back to a diet of bar nuts and cigarette butts.”